Helping someone you love prepare for a medical appointment

Start by listening

The appointment belongs to the person who is going. Before you help, ask what they want from it and what kind of support would be useful. Some people want help writing questions down. Others want company on the day, or someone to talk things over with afterwards.

Let them lead. Your role is to make it easier for them to say what matters to them, not to speak for them.

Preparing questions together

Appointments can feel short, and it is easy to forget things. Beforehand, you could help them write down:

• their two or three most important questions
• their symptoms, when they started and what makes them better or worse
• anything else they want to mention, such as worries or changes since their last appointment

Useful questions often cover:

• what any tests are for, and how and when the results will be shared
• the treatment options, and their risks and side effects
• what happens next, including who to contact if things get worse

Medicines, allergies and records

A clear list of current medicines is one of the most helpful things to take. It should include prescribed medicines, anything bought from a pharmacy or shop, vitamins and supplements, and any herbal or alternative remedies. Taking the packets, or photos of them, can help. Note any allergies too.

If they have the appointment letter, recent letters or test results, these are worth taking. Only gather or share their health information with their agreement.

Supporting without taking over

If they would like you to come, people can usually bring a relative or friend with them. You can help by taking notes, reminding them of questions they wanted to ask, and asking for anything unclear to be explained again or written down.

Try to let them answer questions and make their own decisions, even if you would choose differently. Agreeing beforehand when they would like you to speak can help you both.

If language is a barrier, they can ask the surgery or hospital in advance whether an interpreter or communication support is available.

Permission and confidentiality

If the person can make their own decisions, they stay in control of their own health information. They decide what to share, with whom, and they can change their mind at any time.

In many countries, health professionals must keep information confidential and will usually need the person’s permission before sharing details with family or friends. The exact rules on consent and access to records differ between countries and services. Different rules can apply for children, for adults who cannot make decisions for themselves, and where someone has legal authority to act for them, such as a lasting power of attorney for health and welfare in England and Wales.

If you will be speaking to their care team for them, check first what they are happy for you to know and discuss. It is worth asking the clinic how it records a person’s wishes about sharing information.

Understanding what happens next

Before leaving, it helps to check that the main points and next steps are clear: any tests to arrange, when results are expected, any changes to medicines and when to follow up. Repeating back what was said is a simple way to check.

Afterwards, you could help them write a short note of what was discussed and keep it with their other health information. If an expected letter or test result does not arrive, they can contact the clinic or their GP.

Supporting someone from a distance

Many people support relatives who live in another town or country. Distance does not have to stop you helping. With their agreement, you could:

• talk through their questions by phone or video before the appointment
• help them prepare a list of questions and medicines to take with them
• join a phone or video appointment, if the clinic allows it and they would like you to
• call afterwards to go over what was said and what happens next

Keep time differences and their energy in mind. A short, well-timed call can help more than a long one.